Chapter 138 - 139: The Holiday
Chapter 138 - 139: The Holiday
Elara’s POV
The next morning when I thought he was getting ready to leave, he suddenly turned back.
"Before I ride out," he said, "I want two weeks."
I looked up. "Two weeks?"
"Not in the palace. Not in the council chamber. Not in any room with a crown in it."
I stared at him. "What are you saying?"
He stepped closer. "I am saying I want to leave. You and me. Just us. Outside these walls. I want to see what the kingdom looks like when someone is not trying to destroy it."
I thought about Corvus. About the reformed council. About the ten reasons this was inadvisable.
"Yes," I said.
He smiled. It was small. Tired. But real.
"I thought you were riding out tomorrow," I said.
He shook his head. "No. I changed my mind."
"You changed your mind?"
He came to me. He took my hands. His fingers were warm.
"I just want to spend time with you," he said. "And our unborn child. If something ends up happening to me..."
"Do not."
"If something ends up happening to me, I want to have had this. Two weeks. Just us. No crown. No council. No war."
I looked at him. At the man who had come to kill me and stayed to love me. At the man who was carrying the weight of a kingdom on his shoulders and still found room for me.
"Two weeks," I said.
"Two weeks."
Corvus received the news with the expression of a man who had long since stopped being surprised by his queen and was simply managing the logistics of her decisions.
"Two weeks," he said.
"Two weeks."
"You are leaving the palace. In the middle of a crisis. With Thorn at the border."
"I am."
He looked at me for a long moment. Then he nodded. "I will hold the palace. The reformed council will continue its work. I will dispatch a rider if anything requires your immediate attention."
"Thank you, Corvus."
He did not ask where we were going. He did not ask why. He just made the arrangements. That was who he was. The man who kept things running while the queen was away.
We left before dawn.
The palace was still dark. The torches were burning low. The guards at the gate did not recognize us. We were wearing plain clothes. No crowns. No royal insignia. Just a man and a woman, riding out of the city on horseback.
Kaelen rode beside me. The palace disappeared behind us.
I kept waiting to feel anxious. To feel the pull of everything I had left behind. The council meetings. The petitions. The reports. The weight of the crown.
It did not come.
What came instead was something I did not have a clean name for. A lightness. Like a coat I had been wearing for so long I forgot it had weight until I took it off.
Kaelen noticed. He did not comment. He just rode beside me.
By midday we were in countryside I recognized from maps but had never seen in person. Fields. A river. A village where the water channels had recently been repaired. I could see the new stonework from the road, pale against the older construction.
I stopped my horse.
I looked at it for a long moment.
That is mine, I thought. Not possessively. Accountably. I did that.
Kaelen pulled up beside me.
"The masonry on the left channel is better than the right," he said. "Different crew. The left team has been doing this longer."
I looked at him. "How do you know that?"
"I helped plan the specification," he said. "When I was still the Voice and this was still just a demand on a platform."
I looked at the channels. Then at him. "You specified masonry grades from a platform?"
"Someone had to."
I started laughing. He looked at me sideways, trying not to smile.
We rode on.
We moved through three villages and one small town over the next days.
We stayed at inns. We ate in common rooms. We introduced ourselves with names that were not our names and occupations that were not our occupations. I was a merchant’s wife from the eastern district. He was a former soldier turned tradesman. We were traveling for pleasure, which was unusual enough that people asked about it and I had to invent answers.
I was surprisingly good at inventing answers. Kaelen was better. He fell into the fiction with an ease that reminded me, briefly, of the mask. And then I looked at his face, unguarded, laughing at something an innkeeper said, and I stopped thinking about the mask entirely.
The kingdom was not fixed. I was under no illusion about that. There were still people in the grain lines. There were still petitions that had not been answered. There were still villages where the water was bad and the roads were worse.
But things were moving. I could see it. The masonry on the channels. The distribution points that were stocked. The particular quality of energy in the marketplaces. Not the desperate energy of scarcity, but the ordinary energy of people who had enough and were getting on with their lives.
It was not enough. It was not nearly enough. But it was something.
I told Kaelen this one evening, sitting by the fire at an inn, our plain clothes smelling of the road.
He looked at me for a moment. "You sound surprised."
"I am," I said. "I did not know if any of it was working. From inside the palace you cannot always tell."
"That," he said, "is why you need people in the room who have been outside it."
I looked at him. "Is that why you wanted to come on this trip?"
"Partly," he said. "Partly I just wanted to sleep in a bed that did not have a crown above it."
I threw a piece of bread at him. He caught it. Ate it. Looked entirely satisfied with himself.
In the small town we wandered the market together. No escort. The four men Kaelen had chosen were positioned at the perimeter, invisible. Just the two of us in the crowd, his hand in mine, looking at things we did not need to buy.
A woman selling cloth mistook us for newlyweds. Which we were, technically. She congratulated us and asked when the baby was due.
I froze for half a second.
Kaelen answered before I could. Smoothly. Naturally. With the ease of someone who had been pretending to be other people for two years.
"Four months or so," he said. "First one. We are nervous but excited."
The woman beamed. Told us a great deal of information about childbirth that I was not prepared to receive from a stranger in a market. Kaelen listened attentively. Asked follow-up questions.
I stared at him.
When the woman moved on, I said, "You asked her about swaddling."
"It seemed relevant," he said.
"You are going to be a deeply embarrassing father."
"Almost certainly," he agreed.
I squeezed his hand. He squeezed back.
We sat outside the inn that evening. The town was quiet. The stars were visible in a way they never were from the palace, where there were always torches, always light, always something burning.
I leaned against him. His arm was around me. His hand rested on my stomach, the way it had been resting more and more. Not possessively. Just present. Aware.
I thought: in four days he rides to war.
I did not say it. He knew I was thinking it. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
"One more day," I said.
"One more day," he agreed.
The rider came in the morning.
We were at breakfast in the common room. Plain clothes. Plain food. The comfortable anonymity of people who were nobody in particular.
The rider came through the inn door still dusty from the road. He scanned the room. His eyes found us. The escort outside had told him where to look.
He crossed to our table. He did not bow. He had been told not to bow.
He placed the letter on the table between us.
Corvus’s seal.
I opened it. Read it once. Passed it to Kaelen.
Thorn had been sighted. He was approaching. Less than three days.
The common room was loud around us. People eating breakfast, talking, completely unaware. The woman who sold cloth was at the next table. The innkeeper was pouring something behind the counter.
I looked at the letter. Kaelen looked at the letter. We looked at each other.
I folded it. Put it in my pocket. Stood up. He stood with me.
"How long to get back?" I asked the rider quietly.
"Hard riding. A day and a half."
I nodded. I looked at Kaelen.
"I am sorry," I said. Meaning the holiday. The three and a half days we got instead of two weeks.
"Don’t be," he said. "We got what we needed."
I looked at him. "Did we?"
He took my hand. Briefly. Firmly.
"Yes," he said.
The ride back was fast. Hard. No more plain clothes. The escort dropped the pretence and we moved at pace, the kind of pace that announced itself.
I watched the countryside go past in the opposite direction. The repaired channels. The market towns. The villages where things were moving.
I thought: I have to hold all of this together while he rides to war.
I thought: I have to be the kingdom while he fights for it.
I thought: I can do that.
The palace appeared on the horizon.
I straightened in the saddle.
I was the queen again. I had not stopped being the queen. But for three and a half days I was also just a woman, eating in common rooms and throwing bread at my husband and learning about swaddling from a cloth merchant.
I would carry that with me. Into whatever came next.
The gates opened. We rode through.
Corvus was waiting in the courtyard. His face told me everything I needed to know about how the three and a half days had gone in my absence.
"How bad?" I asked.
"Manageable," he said. "But we need to move quickly."
I dismounted. Kaelen dismounted beside me.
I looked at him. He looked at me.
The holiday was over.
The war had found us.
"Brief me," I said to Corvus, and walked inside.
bantayden